Cow Abuse

Swing and a Miss!

2009-03-12T15:00:00.001-04:00

This is just too darn funny not to include here:

Tranny the Cow does a bad thing!

2009-03-12T14:46:00.007-04:00

You know, I had a female dog (a bitch?) once that would try to hump the other dogs. I can only assume that this cow has a similar sexually-orientated confusion going on.

But wait! There is something more insidious happening here... Tux is bound, gagged, and shackled! Oh the humanity!

The only thing worse, would be to have the Microsoft Butterfly having its way with poor Tux!

Keep your stamen away!

Sweet, Sweet Revenge

2009-03-12T08:29:00.002-04:00

When I came into my office yesterday, I noticed my cow was missing (she has since been returned). I didn't think too much of it at the time and then I heard that there was an incident involving Tux the penguin. I'm still waiting for pictures to be posted...;-)

Menage-a-Cow

2009-03-09T10:01:00.005-04:00

Looks like "The Cubes" people (Tim the IT guy and Sam the delivery guy) decided to have a good time after everyone left, only to be caught in the act this morning!

Pigs of the Kama Sutra

2009-03-05T08:23:00.010-05:00

It seems that the sick and demented trend has carried over into the Pig world:

Well get on over to BBQ Addicts and check out the story! Pig Craps

Damn.. now I need a cigarette...

He strikes during the night!

2009-03-03T08:03:00.007-05:00

Sometime after my shift ends, some perverted co-worker of mine makes his way into my cubical to defile my poor helpless "Tucows" stress cow. These are most of the pics that I have collected to date:

Air Enema - This is one of the first incidents of workplace cow abuse that I took a photo of. After that, the attacks became more frequent.

Hung - I'm not sure where the symbolism is supposed to be attached to...I would guess the attacker. What he doesn't understand is that this is a female cow and is not "hung" at all! *LOL*

Probed - This must have been a recreation of some weird dream that the perp felt he had to do. Images of aliens, livestock and anal probes must have filled his tormented dreams the previous night.

Easy - This was actually the first act of bestiality bestowed upon my cow. You see that use of the "Easy Button" was used here as well. Obviously the perp feels farm animals are easy prey.

Electro Shock Therapy - Notice the use of the muzzle and shackles to keep the cow detained and silenced. We are dealing with one sick person here!

I'm sure I have not heard the last from this individual, and all I can do is sit and wait for the next act to be thrust upon me as I make my way to my office in the mornings.

Poor Tux... apparently he's been eating cheetos

2009-02-03T16:42:00.001-05:00

Obviously, when I saw this, the first thing that came to mind was the following joke:

Guy goes to a doctor and says, "Doc, you've got to help me. My penis is orange." Doctor pauses to think and asks the guy to drop his pants so he can check. Damned if the guy's penis isn't orange. Doc tells the guy, "This is very strange. Sometimes things like this are caused by a lot of stress in a person's life."

Probing as to the causes of possible stress, the doc asks the guy, "How are things going at work?" The guy responds that he was fired about six weeks ago. The doctor tells him that this must be the cause of the stress. Guy responds, "No. The boss was a real asshole, I had to work 20-30 hours of overtime every week and I had no say in anything that was happening. I found a new job a couple of weeks ago where I can set my own hours. I'm getting paid double what I got on the old job and the boss is a really great guy." So the doc figures this isn't the reason.

He asks the guy, "How's your home life?" The guy says, "Well, I got divorced about eight months ago." The doc figures that this has got to be the reason for all of the guys stress. Guy says, "No. For years, all I listened to was nag, nag, nag. God, am I glad to be rid of that old bitch."

So the doc takes a few minutes to think a little longer.

He inquires, "Do you have any hobbies or a social life?" The guy replies, "No, not really. Most nights I sit home, watch some porno flicks and munch on Cheetos."

Now that was easy

2009-02-03T10:38:00.003-05:00

Now we see a cube dude (from thinkgeek?) defiling this poor cow. Notice the incorporation of the "easy" button into the scene. Also, the cow is sporting a tinfoil hat not unlike the hats worn in "Signs"...